I love my family

Only a couple of days before Maija and Saima get here!! I am so excited! They had a bread and jam/jelly sale today! Them along with a couple of other friends make a bunch of jam and jelly and bread and doughnuts and other various items. Maija texted me a little over an hour after the sale started, to tell me that they sold out!! I couldn't believe it! This brought a teeny tiny tear to my eye, becuase I was so happy and proud to be from Kotzebue and to have friends and family like them. Today and the chili feed makes Maija and I's drive up to Alaska much less stressful. Zach got to call this afternoon, to tell me that he was waiting for his plane and he doesn't know when he's gonna get the chance to call again. Hopefully sooner rather than later (=

Besides the bake sale in Kotzebue, I packed a lot up, and after Rea took her nap I brought her to Brittany and Mason's house so I could move some stuff. It was nice, becuase I didn't have to worry about Rea pulling everything out as I put it in. And I got to take a nice shower without worrying about her! As I was packing up the rest of my clothes, I came across one of Zach's t-shirts. My heart dropped, and then I smelled it. I broke down, for the first time since he left. I completely broke down, and lay on my bed and cried. For the first time since the night he left, I couldn't hold it in. Rea wasn't there to keep me from crying. No one was there to stop me from having that single moment. The moment that I can't hold in forever. I needed that I think, even though it was really rough and it took me a while to regain composure. I laid on my bed for a good 10-15 minutes just holding his dirty t-shirt. Basking in the smell of his cologne, missing the nights that we would go to bed and I would complain about him not showering or changing before hand. Now I would give anything to smell him again. Even if he hadn't showered for a week and spent everyday in 120 degree weather.

After regaining my composure, I picked Rea up and came back to Chrissy's. She took a nap, and then we made a short trip to the commissary, and I sold the fish tank and TV stand. Now she's fast asleep after fighting her. She wouldnt' fall asleep tonight. She would lay down, and roll over. Then giggle, and look at me, it was super cute, but I just wanted her to fall asleep so I could have my little bit of personal time! After she's asleep, I get my little  bit of time to blog and stalk facebook! I also get to eat popcicles without having to share! Every momma needs some personal time everyday. Even if it's just a few minutes.

Dear deployment,
Today was the first time that I broke down. Today you beat me for a few minutes. You didn't win today, but I did lose it for a minute. I love Zach so much, and I will wait for him, forever if I have to. He couldn't have called at a more perfect time, and even though I tried to mask my sadness, he knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. He always knows, exactly what to say or do to make me feel better. For that and many many other reasons, you can't ruin our relationship. Love, Elsa..