Day 1

I want to start off by saying, I am not here to make you happy. I am writing to give myself peace of mind. If you don't agree with what I say, or do, or how I react, stop reading. Plain and Simple (=

This is my story, in my eyes.

My name is Elsa, I am 21 years old. I married Zachary Lance on July 28th, 2011. I gave birth to our amazing daughter on April 4, 2010. She is our world. Zach enlisted in the army in August of 2011 and left for basic training on October 26. He returned home for Christmas for two weeks, and graduated basic training on January 26, 2011 in South Carolina. He then attended AIT, in Georgia. He graduated on May 5th, 2011 and started his drive to Fort Hood Texas, where he was stationed and where I was to meet him on May 13th. We started our life in Texas, so very happy to be back together after six long months apart. Since we got here we knew that he would deploy this year, and we knew that his unit was deploying in early July. He, however; was told that he would not be deployed until August, becuase he hadn't been trained and didn't have the time to take block leave. Two days ago, Zach got called to his battalion. When he came home, I saw that he had been crying, and in the moment that I had to wonder what was going on, deployment was the last thing on my mind. I thought someone had died, or something had happened to someone. He then broke the news, he would be deployed in less that fourty eight hours. I bursted into tears, I can't explain the feeling, but I don't wish it apon anyone. Saturday and Sunday were full of hugs and "its gonna be okay"s He packed everything he could fit into two duffel bags, and before I knew it we were sitting in the audiotorium waiting for his busses to leave. I stayed up most of the night with him, and our daughter also didn't sleep well. She knew something was wrong, she knew something big was about to happen. She is only 15 months old, but so amazingly smart. As the time passed, wives and their kids started leaving the audiotorium. The tears were flowing, everywhere. I hope to never have to expirence something like that again. I love my husband and will always wait for him. This next year will come and go, and we will have the rest of our lives together.

Today was better than I expected. Rea and I slept until about 1030 which gave us roughly 5 hours of sleep. She woke up in a wonderful mood, as always, and I woke up hoping that the last day and a half was just a bad dream. I woke up knowing that there are things that need to get done. I can't sit and sulk in my house all day. I got up, we ate breakfast, and then when it came time to shower, I put Rea in the tub, but she started making her face... other moms know, the poopy face, so as quickly as possible, I put her on the toilet, That wasn't soon enough however, she had poopied in the tub, not very much, but it was a moment that I wished Zach was home to help. She finished her poopy on the toilet, and we headed over to my friend Chrissy's. She had taken pre-deployment pictures, which turned out WONDERFUL! I am so thankful to have such wonderful friends. These next couple of weeks will be a whirlwind of packing, and squeezing in everything Texas that we can find. My sisters will be heading down here in August. Saima to pick up Rea, and Maija, to hop in the car with me and drive all the way back to Alaska. I am heading to bed, we are exhausted. I am most worried about spending nights alone. I have nightmares, more often than not, and I fear that I will wake up one night crying and wishing I could be held by my husband. I know he's in Iraq to better our everyday life. He's an amazing husband, father, and soldier. So dear deployment, it's been one day, and I am gonna kick your ass. You don't intimidate me, you will not break my relationship with my husband. You will be over sooner than anyone can realize. Love Always, Elsa...