I'm Blessed.

I consider myself lucky. I may have some really hard days, and I mean hard days. I may have times where I feel like the world is crashing around me and I can't keep moving forward without my husband, my best friend, my biggest supporter, behind me, physically. I may even wonder why things have to happen to me. This week though, my eyes were opened. It started at church, when we were learning how to have a right Christmas, instead of a white Christmas. I started to realize, I'm lucky, lucky to have faith, a healthy wonderful husband, who treats me like a queen, a healthy daughter, and plenty of family and friends who support me through everything. I'm lucky to have a roof over my head and food on the table for myself and my daughter. I'm lucky enough to be able to see my husband for Christmas again this year, and maybe he misses all of the other holidays, but at least we are a family for one of them. Some people are much more unlucky than I am. Some people are raped and end up pregnant, but can't seem to have an abortion, and then have to raise a baby alone, with no one to help them, physically or emotionally. Some people don't have homes, some people can't get jobs. People die every day, and I have the chance to live. The chance to be young and happy and healthy. Then I saw a blog, with pictures of a recently widowed military wife. (http://ohpenelopephotography.blogspot.com/2011/12/heaven-was-needing-hero.html%20I) I cried my eyes out, thinking about the possiblity of losing Zach, the possibilty of never hearing his voice, or feeling his warmth, or even smelling his nasty fart! I'm blessed to get the comfort of his voice on a mostly daily basis, or even just a message, saying I love you. He's not in immediate danger, yes there's a chance something could happen, but the area he is in isn't nearly as dangerous as other places. There are people who haven't heard from their loved ones in days, weeks, or even months. Sometimes we go for a few days without talking, and it drives me crazy. We as a couple are lucky enough to understand that even though we are very far apart, we are as close as we have ever been. We have an understanding of each other and I know in my heart that he would never do anything to break my heart, and he knows that I wouldn't do it to him either. We see people all the time, who think they love each other, but break up every few days, or weeks, and fall into a pattern, that isn't healthy. I'm lucky enough to be confident in the fact that we mutually want to stay married, until death do us part Each night before I go to sleep, I pray for the saftey and security of the troops, those I know, those I don't know, I pray for the families who have lost loved ones, recently, and in the past. I pray that the human race comes to an understanding of each other, so that we don't have to have war so often and last of all, I thank god for all of my blessings, I thank him for the day, my husband, our daughter, my families, and many other things that I have been blessed with. I'm slowly learning how to be humble about my husband being gone, and humble about my blessings. I was put on this earth for a purpose, and maybe I don't know exactly what that purpose is today, right now, but I know that I wasn't born to do nothing.