frustration nation

For a while, I thought my husband was coming home early. I did something that I shouldn't have, I got excited and started living on hope. Recently, he had said they weren't 100% sure he was coming home next month, but they were PRETTY sure, and at first, I forced myself not to be excited. I talked myself into expecting the worst. I actually was doing a really good job at not being excited. Then Zach kept talking about it, and kept bringing it up, and kept talking about how he would be back in a few weeks. Then I got excited. I started to think about how amazing it would be when he came home, and started planning all of the things we would do, and everytime Rea did something cute, I would think "only a couple more months and your daddy can see you do that" we started to practice saying "I love DADDY!" and I let myself go. I got ahead of myself, knowing that I would probably be let down anyway. About a week ago, I asked Zach how sure exactly he was about coming home, and he said "Babe, I can't say, I have no idea" WHAM, reality. Then yesterday, I asked again, and he said probably not December... maybe January, or February, or March. My heart slightly broke, I was living on hope and I shouldn't have been.

Dear Deployment,
I would greatly appreciate an answer.. at least ONE, I would like to know, when he is coming home, whether it's next month, or next July. I would just like to KNOW, so that my emotions aren't all over the place all the time. I can't handle being thrown back and fourth between being excited and my heart breaking. I need to be able to plan when I am supposed to go back to Texas, and I can't, becuase I have NO idea when my husband will be home, and that sucks. I hate you, and I really mean hate. Love, Elsa...