well hello (=
I know it's been weeks since I the last time I wrote. I have been home, feeling like i'm going a million miles an hour and since I usually am only on my phone I don't write enough. I have been needing to write though, a friend of mine reminded me on facebook today that I should write. She's absolutely right, I should be writing everyday, or at least every time something happens. In the last few weeks, I have been babysitting my cousin Josie's baby, Saima. She is four months old, and don't get me wrong, she's SUPER cute. But she cries a lot more than Rea did. I couldn't imagine her being my own kid. I recently applied for a real job at Maniilaq though and I am really hoping that I get it. It will be a nice change to have to get up every morning at the same time and not have to be around Rea 24/7. Also, we will be able to save more money!
Lately, I have been feeling pretty sorry for myself, even though I shouldn't be. I am reminded daily that there are people who have it a lot worst than I do. Recently a friend of mine got run over by a truck and broke a lot of bones and was in critical condition. I have been praying for her. I also spoke with a guy who's girlfriend miscarried her baby, he explained how she had to go through labor and push him out. He watched the whole thing, not being able to help her in pain. I'm sure if he could have, he would have traded her places. I prayed for them. A new mother and her baby were in a car accident in Killeen, the mother did not survive and the father of the baby is trying to come home from Iraq. I am praying for them. Every time I start to feel sorry for myself, I remember that there are people who have it a lot worst than I do. yeah, I don't get to see my husband for a year, but he's alive. I get to speak to him, he gets to see me and Rea on Skype. Really, I am pretty lucky to have a husband who really truly loves me and my daughter. We are lucky to have friends and family who support us 100%.
Other than trying to get a new job, I have been doing well. Rea has been pretty fussy, I think she's getting her last few teeth. It's driving me crazy though. I have been having some really rough dreams. Last night, I had a dream that I was sleeping somewhere with Rea and someone broke into the house and was gonna rape me. I fought it but he managed to give me a two cuts. One on my stomach, from under my belly button to under my boob, and one on my right arm. In my dream, Rea slept through everything, and when the guy left, I was laying in my bed, motionless, crying because there wasn't anything I could do. I am always afraid of dying, with Rea around and no one finding us until it's too late for her too. Especially when Zach was gone and I was still in Texas. I was always worried about Brittany and Chrissy too, since both of their husbands were gone and they both have kids the same age as I do. I woke up, sweating and crying. It didn't help that Magnus was whining to go outside even though I had let him out an hour and a half before, and Fritz was whining downstairs, as she had been all night. Irritated, I drug myself out of bed and pulled Magnus back up the stairs, put the gate back up, and went back to bed. Even though I was terrified that I would have the same dream again. Though I didn't have the same dream, Ariana and I were in a city, i'm not sure where, and we were lost. The dream went on and eventually she was lost from me and I was wondering around looking for somewhere to go. My dad told me he has a lot of dreams about being lost as well. I wonder if it means something. After a long long night, Rea woke up extra early, because she could hear Magnus, and after dragging out getting up as long as I could, we went down stairs and I fed and watered the dogs. Soon after feeding and watering the dogs, I put Magnus outside and Rea and I walked home. I amaqed her. Which means I put her on my back, with a jacket that fits both of us in it. It's pretty muggy and ugly out. It's not too cold, which is nice, but it has been raining on and off for a couple of days. We got lucky and didn't get rained on.
Once we got home, I let Rea watch her morning cartoons and we relaxed. Since I was especially tired, I was hoping that she would fall asleep, but I never got that lucky. I was in and out of sleeping while she was laying down with me, but every time I thought she might be sleeping, she would move and we would both be up. After many failed attempts at putting her to sleep, I finally gave up and checked facebook and to my surprise, Zach was online and he had sent me a number of messages. I was happy that I got to talk to him and it brightened my day a bit. He makes me so proud. He makes me so content with my life, even when it's super crazy. So after flighting with Rea to nap, and talking to Zach, I gave up and asked my sister Saima to watch Rea for a while so I could nap. She picked her up around one and I made a cake in the microwave and put a load of clothes in the wash. Then I went into my room and shut the door. I slept for a little over an hour and only woke up because Saima had texted me asking if I was ready for Rea to come home. I quickly got up and into the shower. Rea was playing in the living room by the time I got out, but it was a really good shower! Remember the cake I made in the microwave? Well I am an at home Tupperware consultant, which means I have lots of Tupperware gizmos and gadgets. One of them happens to be a microwave oven. Which means I could cook things that should normally be baked in the microwave for a fraction of the time. I baked a store bought cake in the microwave in eight minutes! With no waiting for the oven to preheat. It tastes just like regular cake and some will even argue that it is more moist. I had planned on making cake balls for our house, but after a chocolate melting fiasco I decided I kivit, and I am making Ariana finish them! After the cake balls, we are gonna go for a ride and then I am gonna pick up Maija's car. Then it's ZUMBA time!! I love doing zumba, it keeps me sane!
Dear Deployment,
You suck, today you threw a bunch of crap at me, and even after feeling like crying, I didn't and I am now in a good mood. Lets just hope you are shorter, rather than longer okay? I would really appreciate that. Rea is growing everyday and needs her daddy around. She loves and misses him everyday, as do I. These next couple of days I will be waiting for a phone call for some work. Once I start really working, you will go by faster. Love, Elsa...
No comments:
Post a Comment